MotoGP has just issued an "official apology." Yes, you read that right: the fastest, most dangerous, and most addictive world championship on the planet is asking for forgiveness. But not for what you might think.
MotoGP apologizes for having… ruined your weekends, worn out your sofas, and humiliated all other motorsports which, by comparison, now look like lawnmower competitions.
In a deliberately ironic statement, MotoGP admits to being responsible for significant disruptions in people's lives, mainly on weekends, due to:
« The increased heart rate caused by battles on the track
All the seats were worn down to the edge
The laws of gravity defied by rescues and wheelies
An excess of freshness coming from the pilots
The success of docuseries between sessions »
And the message ends like this: we deeply regret for making everything else boring compared to the most exciting sport on the planetWe know that the adrenaline rush offered by MotoGP is impossible to reproduce elsewhereand we can only apologize for that. ».
In short: MotoGP publicly admits it has become too intense a phenomenon for the average person. This admission is a slap in the face for other sports: Formula 1, Superbike, rally, football… thanks for participating, you can go back to your TV naps.
MotoGP, for its part, openly states that it is no longer playing in the same league: too spectacular, too fast, too authentic, too dangerous. A visual hard drug — but legal and free.
What's really bothersome? The falsely repentant tone: We regret having made everything else boring. » A short sentence that could have been written by Marc Marquez himself after having humiliated 22 drivers in the race.
MotoGP apologizes… but forgets to mention that the season was soporific because of one person: Marc Marquez
MotoGP has therefore issued an "official apology" for allegedly causing heart palpitations, wearing out sofas, and triggering global adrenaline rushes. But one detail is missing from their mea culpa: this season has also been a long, monotonous tunnel called Marc Márquez.
So, let's talk about it. Who crushed the Sprints? Who turned every race into a demonstration of clinical superiority? Who made the starts thrilling and then the next 20 laps as predictable as possible? Marc Marquez.
The MotoGP press release laments a sport that is "too exciting". In truth, a good part of the paddock spent the year watching the same scenario play out week after week: the fires go out and Marc Marquez takes off. The rest of the world fights for second place. All this while the Dorna tries to create the illusion of nail-biting suspense.
MotoGP talks about "worn seats." Yes, but certainly not from the suspense. Rather, because the fans were moving around to get a coffee while waiting for something to happen in front of them.
MotoGP is talking about the riders being too fresh. That's true: Marquez He was so cool that he cooled down the entire championship.
MotoGP evokes high heart rates. Or maybe it's just a side effect of fans praying that someone, anyone, can keep up with #93.
MotoGP claims that "everything else looks boring in comparison." Ironically, many have found MotoGP itself boring, as Marquez's dominance crushed any semblance of sporting variety.
The real problem? MotoGP wants to apologize for everything… except for what REALLY angered part of the public: a season decided in advance, paced by a single man who leaves only crumbs for the others.
Sure, the press release is funny. But if he wanted to be honest, he should have added: We also apologize for turning 2025 into a remake of 2014: a season where only Marc Marquez knew the script »
